It's so hard wanting to be in two places at once. Being stretched apart. It's not like wishing part of you could be at home and at a store shopping or at a party. Wanting to be with your child in heaven but also with your children here is-I can't even find the words. 1st holiday function tonight. I enjoyed it. It felt good to be out. But after a couple of hours, I just missed my baby. So many people were there. I wanted them to know about our office. I also wanted them to know about my baby. But it's different when you don't have your baby to come home to. Seeing my girls when I got home tonight was such a comfort-nothing but love there. But still my pain and sorrow overtake me. Jesus please help us. Please stay close to us. Gage we love you so so much!